Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
