I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
