All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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