DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
