that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize