Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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