i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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