You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
