Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
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