If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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