3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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