Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
