Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
