We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Randomize
