whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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