Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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