Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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