I wannas sexs uuuuu
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize