It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
