i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
They are going to name an STD after you.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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