I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Well I just put wine in my tea
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize