you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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