ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just pee around me
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
