I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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