She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he shaved USA in his pubs
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
