Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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