question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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