You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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