Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
