i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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