the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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