my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
