he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
