i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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