Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
