Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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