dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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