I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
