it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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