Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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