you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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