Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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