And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
