at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
