hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
