I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
