ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
