Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It's never too late to be topless.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
