no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
