Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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