I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
