So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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