It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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