Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
we're making bets on your personal life
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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