And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
What a dumb baby whore.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
