Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
