no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
