I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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