We tried having a conversation with our noses.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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