Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
