Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
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I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
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Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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