We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
