just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
