their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
