i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
